Macho Ministers

Recent revelations reveal Southern Baptist Seminaries ratcheting up the agenda to produce a higher testosterone level amidst its clergy. Heading the way is Southwestern Seminary in Fort Worth, and Southern Seminary in Louisville is not far behind.
In 2003 the president of Southwestern led a rally at an Arkansas church in which he presented the number one problem men face in America. That problem was gun ownership. Seminary head Paige Patterson was at one time president of the Southern Baptist Convention. Patterson said boys need three things: a dog, a gun, and a dad. More than just any dog, he said they needed a big one to be proud of. Paige's counsel about this grave problem of boys not being taken hunting sets a standard few of his fellow Texans could pay for with the cost of hunting leases in the Lone Star State.
The failure to follow through with such a program might lead to "girlie men types" the governor of California warned about. Even though the governor of California posed nude for pictures in a homosexual magazine, he evidently fired enough weapons in action movies to qualify his manhood.
Patterson claimed there was a war against boys. He wanted to set the record straight at his seminary to provide adequate leadership. Author Martin Marty wrote about these things in the Christian Century magazine. Southwestern now has a 23-hour degree on homemaking for women. This was the school that released a woman seminary professor because she was teaching men. Patterson was afraid some gender roles might get confused. Marty noted that Jesus once fixed a meal for His disciples and Paul was a tent maker using a needle and thread. Marty implied the whole macho thing was kind of silly as it played out in the Dallas Morning News.
Southern Seminary's Bruce Ware claims that women would not have to worry about abuse if they were more obedient to their husbands. Ware might conceive that slapping a few of the wives around to keep them in place might be what is needed in our society today.
Southern Seminary President Albert Mohler is a member of the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. Mohler has stated that white female Christians need to be more fertile and the pill was one of the greatest evils in Western civilization.
Evidently testosterone oozes from the aura of pastor Mark Driscoll of Seattle. Driscoll claims he is so manly that several women have sought to seduce him and so he has to be careful at all times. In Houston, Driscoll lamented the wimpy pulpiteers of this generation. He placed the blame on the lack of church attendance in America at the foot of sissy-type preachers. He said, "The problem with our churches today is that the lead pastor is some sissy boy who wears cardigan sweaters, has the Carpenters dialed in on his iPod, gets his hair cut at a salon instead of a barber shop and hasn't been to an Ultimate Fighting Match, works out on an elliptical machine instead of going to isolated regions like Rocky IV in order to harvest lumber with his teeth, and generally swishes around like Jack from Three's Company whenever Mr. Roper was around."
Driscoll invited some of the pastors in the crowd to come to punch him out. When no one took up the offer, he hit himself a few times to prove his manhood. I wondered if Driscoll knows that Rocky IV is fiction? Driscoll is the kind of minister who would start his nose hairs on fire with a Bic lighter to light his cigarette.
His profanity and offer to engage in fisticuffs reminds me of Houston's own R. B. Thieme. This Dallas seminary graduate sent out tapes around the nation and had a huge following. Thieme wore a military uniform while he preached. The foyer in his church was graced with photos of military figures who were war heroes. Thieme often swore at critics and to those who challenged him he offered to take them on in the parking lot. Thieme decried long haired men as sissies.
John Eldredge has written a best seller about manhood called WILD AT HEART. He believes church life in America has made girlie men out of the culture. Thus men have been justified to retreat to porn for their affection. Eldredge believes what women want from men is to be fought for. He said God created them for battle and Jesus wants them to be warriors.
Short hair, big guns, big dogs, a hunting lease, and slapping the ol' lady around a little, are now apparently requirements for a ministerial license in the South. A theological education is not one.